Friday Funnies





photoI’ve mentioned before how much my boys enjoy this silly joke book.  It’s the quickest and easiest way to get them into the “school zone” each morning.  Originally I had a joke picked out for the days I didn’t have a funny animal poem to read.  But it didn’t take long for them to declare that my animal poems weren’t really all that funny, so now they chant “Joke! Joke! Joke!” until I bring out this little book.  Now the joke of the day is the first thing on the agenda and sadly sometimes it’s the only thing they remember.

Since I haven’t required them to type up a “Friday’s Factoid” this year (we’ve been keeping better track of what they’re learning on paper), I thought it might be fun if they all shared one of their favorite jokes from some of the different animal families we’ve studied so far.

Family Canidae (A Dog Joke submitted by Joel)

A jogger stopped for a rest.  Sitting on a park bench next to an old man, he noticed a dog curled up under the bench.  “Does your dog bite?” he asked.  “Nope!” the old man said.  So the jogger reached under the bench to pat the dog and it nearly bit his hand off!  “I thought you said your dog didn’t bite!” he yelled at the old man.  “He doesn’t,” the old man replied.  “But that there ain’t my dog.”

Family Ursidae (A Bear Joke submitted by Titus)

Once upon a time there were three bears that lived in a cottage in the woods.  Coming back from a walk, Papa Bear noticed something unusual.  “Who’s been sleeping in my bed and left the covers all messed up?” he roared.  The baby bear ran into his own room.  “Who’s been sleeping in my bed and left the covers all messed up?” he squeaked.  Mother Bear walked in and said, “Will you two calm down?  I just haven’t had a chance to make them yet!”

Family Felidae (A Cat Joke submitted by Sam)

A man once applied for a job as a circus lion tamer.  The ringmaster asked if he had any experience, and the man said, “Why yes.  My father was one of the most famous lion tamers in the world and he taught me everything he knew.”  “Really?” said the ringmaster.  “Did he teach you how to make a lion jump through a flaming hoop?”  “Yes, he did,” the man replied.  “And did he teach you how to have six lions form a pyramid?”  “Yes, he did” the man replied.  Impressed, the ring ringmaster went for the biggest question in the lion-taming world.  “Have you ever stuck your head in a lion’s mouth?”  “Just once,” the man replied. The ringmaster asked, “Why only once?”  And the man said, “I was looking for my father.”

Family Macropodidae (A Kangaroo Joke submitted by Nate)

The zookeepers started work one morning and noticed the kangaroo had escaped from its enclosure.  They rounded it up and erected a ten-foot fence around the enclosure.  The next morning the kangaroo was hopping around the zoo again.  They put it back in its enclosure and built the fence up to twenty feet.  The next morning the kangaroo was hopping around the zoo again.  And once again the zookeepers put it back in its enclosure then raised the fence to forty feet.  The kangaroo and its friend watched the workmen pack up their tools, and the friend said, “I wonder how high they’re gonna go with that.”  “I don’t care,” the kangaroo said. “Just so long as they keep leaving the gate unlocked!”

Hmmmm…  Makes me wonder how often I might be missing the obviously easier solution…

Oh, and we can’t leave out Gideon.  He doesn’t get jokes but he thinks the goldfish is hilarious.

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10 thoughts on “Friday Funnies

  1. Nah! I think Nate got his funny bone with some goldfish jokes:

    Q: What is the richest fish in the world?
    A: A goldfish

    Two goldfish in a tank. One says to the other, “How do you start this thing?”

    Nate: Where do goldfish go on vacation?
    Gid: Where?
    Nate: Around the globe!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Julie, here’s some more jokes for Nate. Maybe he can keep Gideon entertained while you take a much needed break.

    Nate: Where does a fish go to get his scales trimmed?
    Gid: Where?
    Nate: The bobber shop.

    Nate: How do you communicate with a fish?
    Gid: I don’t know.
    Nate: Drop it a line!

    Nate: Where do goldfish keep their money?
    Gid: Where?
    Nate: In a riverbank.

    Nate: Why is it so easy to weigh fish?
    Gid: I don’t know. Why?
    Nate: Because they have their own scales!

    Nate: Why do fish swim in schools?
    Gid: I don’t know.
    Nate: Because they can’t walk!

    Nate: How do fish get from place to place while playing golf?
    Gid: I don’t know. How?
    Nate: By golf carp!

    Nate: Why didn’t Noah do much fishing on the ark?
    Gid: Search me. Why?
    Nate: He had only two worms.

    Liked by 1 person

      • oh-oh-oh. You really are in so much the same place in life as me…but with FIVE. And you battle the anemia–which is just so indescribably hard. It’s hard to explain how hard it is to battle being that zapped. We have a scary amount in common, and I’m just glad I found you!


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